A paramour refers to a romantic partner, typically someone who is not the spouse, and often associated with extramarital relationships. In legal contexts, particularly in family law, the presence of a paramour can raise questions about custody and parenting arrangements, especially if their involvement impacts the well-being of the children. In North Carolina, understanding how “paramour law” applies to custody cases can help you navigate these complex situations.
The concern is usually even stronger when the parent believes the third party was in some way responsible for the breakup of their marriage. Under paramour law in NC, these concerns may influence legal decisions if they are shown to affect the children’s best interests.
In certain circumstances, you may be able to limit how much contact your children have with your spouse or former spouse’s new romantic interest. For example, paramour law in NC allows courts to consider whether introducing a paramour too early reflects poor judgment by the parent.
In an initial custody determination, you can offer evidence that your spouse is exercising poor judgment by introducing your child[ren] too soon to his or her paramour or to someone who is not suitable to be around your child[ren]. If there is already a custody order in place, you will need to demonstrate to the court that there has been a substantial change of circumstances that warrants a modification to custody.
A more common way to limit this type of contact is by inclusion of specific provisions in a separation agreement. Two common provisions are:
In addition, despite obvious enforcement difficulties, you could include other specific provisions to limit contact between a parent’s new romantic interest and their child[ren]. For example, a provision might prohibit introducing the children to any new romantic interest until divorce is finalized or after an agreed-upon time.
Challenges in Enforcing Limits on ParamoursWhether you can successfully limit how much time your children spend with your spouse or former spouse’s paramour is dependent upon the facts and circumstances of each case. Paramour law in NC prioritizes the children’s best interests, meaning courts may assess the paramour’s impact on the child’s well-being rather than personal feelings about the relationship.
However, in general, it is important for a parent to realize that separation necessarily means some loss of control over the parenting decisions of the other parent. In most cases, attempting to control the other parent following separation is wasted energy.
When dealing with issues related to a spouse’s paramour, focusing on the children’s best interests should always take priority. While paramour law in NC provides pathways to address concerns, it’s essential to work with an experienced family law attorney to evaluate your specific situation.
Disclaimer: The information contained in this article is intended as a general guide and is not to be used as legal advice by Gailor & Hunt, PLLC. Whether or not you may be entitled to take action in regard to the information addressed in this article can only be determined after a thorough review of the facts and circumstances of your case. You may contact Gailor & Hunt, PLLC, a full-service divorce law firm, at 919-832-8488.
